Excuse me as I cry my eyes out knowing that as of 10:39 last night, we officially had a TWO WEEK OLD! 😭 These last fourteen days have been like no other and everyday I thank the universe for this little baby that Jimmy & I created! Through the sleepless nights, the dirty diapers and the struggles of constant breastfeeding, Ellie has brought such immense joy to our life and even though these past two weeks have FLOWN by, I'm so excited to see what our little girl will grow into! 

Trying to do anything with a newborn is pretty much exhausting, let alone putting together blog posts but I decided that I wanted to share Ellie's birth story - it was such a life changing moment for Jimmy & I and its a moment we never want to forget! 💕

So if you don't like details, I'd advise you to just skip this post, but for the rest of you guys here goes: 

As most of you know, Ellie had no plans on coming into this world on her own. My last doctors appointment was the Friday after her original due date and she still showed no signs of making her big debut. The weekend came and went and still no sign of her. It was planned that if she didn't come sooner rather than later then I would have to be induced so we were put on the schedule for induction Tuesday morning at 7:30am. 

I remember I was so anxious the night before (and weeks before that to be honest) I barely slept. I had worked myself up and read every induction story there was to find on the internet - which is a terrible idea people, so don't read anything online! I was making myself more and more antsy by the minute and counting the seconds before I no longer had little girl in my belly. 😓 Jimmy so kindly took me to Dunkin Donuts and I forced down a sandwich before our arrival to the birth suites. It was less than an hour before I was admitted and ready for induction. 

Ready or not, it was time for Ellie's birthday! 

We got settled in our room and my midwife rounded around 8am. She was pleased that I was already dilated to 3-4 cm upon arrival to the hospital so we decided it was best to go ahead and break my water to get labor jump started before we resorted to starting pitocin. I didn't progress hardly any in the few next few hours despite being able to walk around and bounce on the labor ball (not that I really wanted too after having my water broken <--- insert gross face here 😣) so we went ahead and started with IV pitocin around 10am. I didn't start feeling contractions until about an hour or so later around 11am and even then they were bearable. Every 30 minutes to an hour my nurse would come in and up the dosage of medication, making them the contractions come a little quicker and longer, but still, everything was bearable. 

I continued to bounce on the labor ball and walk around until about 2pm when I decided I should get an epidural because my contractions were starting to double on top of one another without rest in between. Again, it was still bearable, they just took my breath away and I had to find a focus point but I figured induction would probably only get worse from here so why make it harder on myself and little Ellie girl? 😬

It took about an hour for the anesthesiologist to come to the room and I'm glad that I asked for it when I did. By 3pm I was 6cm dilated and my contractions were getting pretty strong and still continued to double on top of each other every so often and I could feel my whole body starting to shake whenever one would come on. Its such a scary feeling not knowing what is happening to your body and not being able to control it. It was all I could do to just succumb to the contractions and let my body shake until the anesthesiologist was done. Jimmy was able to stay in the room with me and it was such a relief to have him there holding my hand during the entire process. I'll never forget trying not to move during contractions and and just thinking how thankful I was to have him there by my side for this entire experience. 💕 I thought I loved Jimmy before, but nothing makes you appreciate someone as much as when you truly need them for support. 

The epidural didn't hurt. I just felt a little prick when it was being numbed and I felt a little jolt to my left hip when it was being placed. I didn't have any headaches or side effects afterwards but it did wear off eventually which I'll get to in a bit. But having it placed wasn't as big of a deal as I had made it seem in my head. I'll probably get another IF we decide to do this again! From about 4pm to about 7:30pm I was able to rest. I still had feeling in my lower body, it just felt as if they were asleep and tingled whenever I turned from side to side. 

At shift change I noticed a lot of pressure suddenly and I started feeling contractions again. These were MUCH more intense than before my epidural was placed and after hitting my little pain button as much as I could, anesthesiology was called to come check on me. Over the course of about an hour  my contractions had become so intense without any relief from the medication boluses I was receiving there wasn't much else to do. At about 8pm I started throwing up uncontrollably (Jimmy later referenced the exorcist scene) and I think with my cursing it was probably pretty dang close to that. 🙊 After the third medication bolus from the anesthesiologist, I was so beyond pain, all I remember is crying and just apologizing over and over again to Jimmy and my nurse and my midwife! I don't even know why I was saying sorry, I just remember thinking I was being such a big baby about everything. Sorry again guys for my emotional train wreck! 

Shortly after all of this chaos ensued, I was finally dilated between 9 and 10cm and they wanted me to start "practice" pushing. Like what the heck is even practice pushing?! Not knowing what the heck I was doing and feeling the worst pressure in my pelvis and pain in my entire life, I just did what they told me and pushed like I was taking the biggest poop ever! Gross? Most definitely! Real life? You betcha! It took a whopping TWO. WHOLE. HOURS. of pushing until finally little girl was about to be born. With every push, I just kept bouncing back between thinking how exhausted I was and how I couldn't push anymore to how every push was just one less pain I'd feel and she'd finally be here! 

At exactly 10:39pm my midwife told me to reach down and I was able to pull Jimmy's and my daughter into this world! I just remember looking at her and just thanking whatever force is out there for bringing her safe into my arms after everything! Jimmy never left my side and I was so thankful to have him there the entire time telling me how proud he was and encouraging me!  

It was at the moment our lives changed forever and we became parents! 💖 

Jimmy holding our daughter for the first time! 

The best feeling in the entire world!

Ahhhhh! Swoon! 😍

Because I had such issues with my epidural, my midwife told me I pretty much delivered naturally so there wasn't any problems with me getting up and walking post delivery. After we held her for quite a while, they weighed her and did all her newborn assessments. She weighed 7lbs 8ozs and tested negative for any birth deficits. All I could do was stare at Jimmy holding her and devour any food they brought me! A turkey sandwich never tasted so dang good! I'd never been so hungry! Like ever! 😂

The only two things post delivery I remember was just feeling such happiness, definitely the happiest I've ever been in my life! And thats not the hormones talking, its so true! And Ellie pooped all over me right after she was born! All over my stomach and down my leg! It was like a welcoming to motherhood!

We were moved shortly after into our own room on the mother/baby unit late that night where we just stared at her until the early hours of the next morning!

One Day Old! 💞

We stayed in the hospital just under two days. Ellie was a little jaundice so she had get her tan on a few times and we were finally able to leave after her evening levels showed she was treading down. Looking back, those two days we spent there are such a blur now. Its hard to look at pictures because time has flown by already and it makes me so sad but also so happy! But we had plenty of visitors and people who showed such love to us and our little girl! 

We had the best care! I can not thank the nurses enough who helped deliver Ellie and took care of us afterwards! They seriously have a gift for what they do and I wish I could show them the gratitude that Jimmy & I feel towards them everyday that we have with our little Ellie girl! Words do absolute no justice for how thankful we are for helping to bring our daughter into this world and caring for us immediately after! 💝 

Our first night home was such a blur looking back. Jimmy and I were absolutely starving by the time we got home around 9pm. I held Ellie at the table and Jimmy and I split a digornio pizza! 😂 I remember feeling so antsy about the night ahead of us I could barely get down a slice. We changed her diaper and let her sleep in the footie pajamas we brought her home in and put her down for bed. I don't think I slept at all! I kept peaking at her making sure she was still breathing! Something that hasn't quit yet, even now two weeks later! 

Prepping for our discharge! 

FINALLY going home! 💘

Three Days Old - First Doctors Apt. 

Twelve Days Old! 😘😭

Time really is passing so quickly! We scheduled her one month appointment in two weeks with her doctor and she's already gained a whole pound since her first doctors appointment! Again, you can find me in the corner crying! I've already had to start stashing away some of her newborn onesies because her head is too big to fit through the tops of them and her newborn diapers are starting to feel a little snug around her legs! 😩 But even though she's growing so quick, I'm getting in as many of these newborn snuggles as I can. I'm trying to find the mindset that the laundry and the dishes can wait because she's only going to be so tiny for so long and I want to soak up as much as I can with her! Having her fall asleep on my chest is my absolute favorite & when I see her sleeping in Jimmy's arms it takes everything in me not to cry out of happiness! 😍

My apologies ahead of time if this post seems thrown together. Its been so chaotic this week as Jimmy went back to work! Blogging has seriously been the least of my worries but we are doing so great! We love our Ellie girl and we are just so over the moon about waking up to her every morning!


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